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No. 16951
Раз все равно тред подняли
Stranger: say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: ty
You: What?
Stranger: Thank You
You: So..
You: Do you know that KGB is watching you?
Stranger: im taking than under consideration
You: So
You: Did you have any warm clothes?
Stranger: after all, the killed my president
Stranger: no i havent i left them at home dammit
You: Bad
You: It is cold in Siberia
Stranger: i know, but i like cold
You: But warm clothes will also protect you from radiation a bit
Stranger: i dont think so
Stranger: unless you make them out of lead
You: However, it will be you only protection on GULAG uranium mines
You: So, do you have shovel or pickaxe?
Stranger: no, they dont have one for me?
You: Nope
You: Do you have icepick at least?
Stranger: actually im not suprised
Stranger: you ahve to have your own spoon when going to hospital
Stranger: talk about a shovel!
Stranger: dont have that either
You: Bad
You: So, we can send you to mercury facility
You: You dont need digging implements on it
Stranger: i have 10 liters of mercury
Stranger: wanna buy?
You: Cool
You: Nope, we get it by the force
Stranger: heavy stuff
Stranger: i see
You: Also, you need piece of cloth
You: Cuz we dont have any gasmasks left
Stranger: thats ok, im butt naked right now and dont mind
You: Oh no
You: I dunno, wrap youself in plastic bag or something
Stranger: why would i do that?
You: Okay, i know
You: We send you to Europe, to kill one guy
Stranger: wait
Stranger: i AM in europe already
Stranger: your intelligence sucks
You: Okay, i must know, naked guy with 10 litres of mercury dont attract any attention in Europe
Stranger: and the guy is long dead
You: Oh no
Stranger: its not like i keep the 10 liters around u know
You: i dunno
Stranger: what happens now?
You: Okay. You are in Europe, yes?
You: o you see that jewish guy with goatee?
You: *Do
Stranger: no
You: Maybe he is hiding
You: Okay, smack someone with you bottle of mercury and scream "KGB rulez!"
You: We call it terror mission
Stranger: that doesnt sound right
Stranger: KGB is all about quiet ops
You: Everyone must fear!
Stranger: oh and dude, 10l of mercury is 135 kilograms
You: So, it sure hurts to get smacked by it
You: Cool, it is nice idea!
Stranger: i guess, but i aint packin
You: We will give a bottles of mercury to our operatives, instead of icepicks!
Stranger: who is we?
You: KGB, of course
Stranger: am i going to meet you?
You: Nope
You: If you see that guy with goatee, pour some mercury in his coffee
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: im not sure that will do much damage
You: But when you will do that
You: He say "Hey, what are you doing with my coffee!"
You: Then you hit him with mercury
Stranger: what if he doesnt drink coffee? i dont
You: Pour in tea
You: Or just smack him with bottle
Stranger: i think you could spot the mercury in tea easily
Stranger: and the bottle is too heavy
You: When he spot mercury in tea, he will be distracted
You: Also bottle will be not so heavy, cuz you poured some mercury in his cup
Stranger: even 5kg would not make difference
Stranger: for the bottle
You: Hm. So, trade some mercury to arabs or jews
You: And buy icepick for youself
Stranger: the problem is, i dont quite like arabs, nor the jews
You: Okay. I just mailed to Mossad and said them that some naked guy in Europe sell mercury
You: So you will get a customer soon
Stranger: im deep undercover
You: They said that they found ten naked guys, but nine are selling uranium
Stranger: these are my decoys
You: Hmm
You: WHY THE HELL THEY ARE SELLING OUR URANIUM?
Stranger: its fake relax
You: Okay
You: Next time they must sell polonium
You: It is more realistic
Stranger: oh yeah, given the country im currently in
Stranger: it would not look suspicious at all
Stranger: [i think we just worte half of the script for a nice movie here]
You: Yep
You: I wonder how will look KGB bunker in movie?
You: Backward "R" everywhere
Stranger: Я
You: Yep
You: It is pronounced "Ya", BTW
You: And real russian R is "Р"
Stranger: my fridge was named: Саратов
You: Короче, давай на родном языке говорить
Stranger: nah
You: Hm
You: So, you Russian?
Stranger: well, have the KGB recently killed russian president?
You: Nope
You: He dodge bullets
Stranger: yep, mine was too
Stranger: but he couldnt fly
You: Okay, nice talk, bye
Stranger: haha
Stranger: chicken :>
You: What?
Stranger: KGB is watching you!
You: Okay
You: Whatever
You: I just looked in mirror
You: So yes, KGB is watched me
Stranger: thats good
Stranger: i bet you havent seen the ninjas behind you though
You: Yep, there is some ninjas
You: I must take them to thrash bin, cuz they already stinking
Stranger: they cant be ninjas then
You: I hate when they shoot spies and leave them to rot and stink
You: Yep, there is some CIA guys
Stranger: nice work with the CIA
Stranger: and the us in general
Stranger: the flower children was a masterpiece
Stranger: you made the us on their knees
You: Yep. We dropped pot seeds everywhere to do this
Stranger: that is surely visible now, to the ones that can see
You: Okay, okay. That was nice talk, but i must go to feed a bear
Stranger: ok
Stranger: say hi to him from me
You: I do
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